Interviewing Chickens

Probing the inner thoughts of poultry is not as easy it would seem; mine, however...

With all the hilarious videos on YouTube in which people interview animals,¹ and given the fact that whenever I go into the backyard (a.k.a., the chicken run) I am followed around by squawking and squeaking chickens, I thought it would be a cinch to capture an engaging and maybe even teary-eyed interview that Barbara Walters would be proud of. So I went into the backyard with questions and my camera to give these poultry a chance to share their thoughts on global affairs. Instead of rambling on and on like they usually do, these chickens suddenly became tight-beaked or spouted obscenities. It’s left me wondering what reasons they could possibly have for having such reactions to questions about current events in Russia and Belarus. It seems impossible to probe the inner thoughts of a chicken.

On the flip side, interviewing chickens can yield some entertaining outtakes.

I am my own biggest obstacle

Probing my own inner thoughts, on the other hand, is an endeavor that suffers from an embarrassment of riches. The thoughts tumble over each other some days and it can be difficult to channel them into useful spillways.

As you may recall, I am in the stage of looking for a property for A Good Spot. A couple days ago I ran across a property that I immediately thought, “I want to see that.” That’s not a usual reaction from me. Usually I add a property to my “saved” list and keep searching. This one kept my attention. It’s over 36 acres of rolling wooded wildness tucked away on a dead-end road in northern Wisconsin, it has a tiny solar-powered cabin on it already, and it boasts a long driveway.

Though I knew that if I clicked the button to contact the agent, Zillow would connect me to a local real estate agent who could represent me in looking at not just this property but others in the area, I could not bring myself to click the button. Why not?

Emotions.

The predominant emotion was fear of momentum. I’ve seen this happen before. I have a general goal I want to reach and I take ostensibly harmless and noncommittal steps towards that goal and before I know it, I’m dedicating hours, weeks, and/or years toward fulfilling that goal until, oh, I don’t know, I’m a professor or driving around Montana for a few weeks. Things happen when one applies oneself, so one better be damn sure of what one wants, or at least okay with an outcome that resembles it.

Clicking the button was an ostensibly noncommittal act. But I had to be willing to drive up there in the next week or I should not click it. But I had to have someone lined up to take care of the chickens if I had to stay overnight or I should not click it. But I had to know where the money will come from or I should not click it. But I had to know precisely what kind of property I want or I should not click it.

Hogwash.

I have to click it to find out. One doesn’t have all the answers before one begins, else what’s the journey for?

I clicked it. I was connected with a down-to-earth, good listener of a real estate agent who knows the area well because he used to be a logger, and I look forward to where the momentum will lead.

1. Creature Comforts, “Bed Time” episode

Creature Comforts, “Feeding Time” episode

“I interviewed animals with a tiny mic again”

“I interviewed more animals with a tiny mic”